This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
