life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
