It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
