i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
