yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
