Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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