a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
