sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
