There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
