you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
