When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
