I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
