Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
