I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
