So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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