I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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