We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
