what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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