captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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