I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
