your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
