vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
