Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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