hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
tequila makes me forget i have legs
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
