you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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