He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I believe in your delicious
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
