Apparently you make a good broom.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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