Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
