If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
