You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You pole danced in your parka.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
