after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
