Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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