They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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