he looks like a really good dad on facebook
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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