This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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