porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
