He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just took my morning after pill in the library
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
