Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
