im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
