Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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