my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
