What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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