I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
