I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
