How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
