Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
