how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
