just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
