he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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