His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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